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MORE ABOUT THE SEX OLYMPICS

Thursday, November 13th, 2008

After writing that piece about being hired to emcee this summer’s Sex Olympics, I was asked, “What the fuck does an emcee do?”

I talk a lot. For fund raisers I’m hired to talk on a wireless microphone from the time the first person arrives until the last person leaves. It’s the only way to remind people what they’re there for. At corporate events the same thing – Keep it lively, interactive and motivating.

Emceeing the Sex Olympics will be a lot like emceeing the Midwest Amateur Porn Search; which I’ve emceed the past 3 summers.

I’ll arrive, brush my teeth, brush my hair, plug in my wireless and away I go… I’ll walk the grounds interviewing everyone. I’ll ask the women to flash their breasts for all the gawkers with camera phones. You’d be surprised how many do - for a T-Shirt they’ll never wear. And their boyfriends love it!

And who are the people attending? WEEKEND “FREE THINKERS!” During the week they’re stressed out doctors, teachers, Moms, Dads, Sons, Daughters, plumbers, cops, secretaries, bank tellers, machinists and soccer Moms. In their little free time after work, they’re searching the internet for “secret lifestyle” gatherings. The sexier the gathering the more people attend.

I’ll keep you posted what “secret gatherings” are coming up.

Tags: Sex Olympics

Posted in Humor, Sex | 5 Comments »