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MORE ABOUT THE SEX OLYMPICS

After writing that piece about being hired to emcee this summer’s Sex Olympics, I was asked, “What the fuck does an emcee do?”

I talk a lot. For fund raisers I’m hired to talk on a wireless microphone from the time the first person arrives until the last person leaves. It’s the only way to remind people what they’re there for. At corporate events the same thing – Keep it lively, interactive and motivating.

Emceeing the Sex Olympics will be a lot like emceeing the Midwest Amateur Porn Search; which I’ve emceed the past 3 summers.

I’ll arrive, brush my teeth, brush my hair, plug in my wireless and away I go… I’ll walk the grounds interviewing everyone. I’ll ask the women to flash their breasts for all the gawkers with camera phones. You’d be surprised how many do - for a T-Shirt they’ll never wear. And their boyfriends love it!

And who are the people attending? WEEKEND “FREE THINKERS!” During the week they’re stressed out doctors, teachers, Moms, Dads, Sons, Daughters, plumbers, cops, secretaries, bank tellers, machinists and soccer Moms. In their little free time after work, they’re searching the internet for “secret lifestyle” gatherings. The sexier the gathering the more people attend.

I’ll keep you posted what “secret gatherings” are coming up.

Tags: Sex Olympics

Thursday, November 13th, 2008 at 9:21 am and is filed under Humor, Sex. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

5 Responses to “MORE ABOUT THE SEX OLYMPICS”

1. Diane Says:
   November 13th, 2008 at 9:38 am

   You certainly do talk a lot at the fundraisers I’ve seen you at Stu. But you keep it fun and people appreciate being reminded that they’re there to donate money. I can’t wait to see you at the next Lymphomathon.

2. Joe the Lawyer Says:
   November 13th, 2008 at 9:46 am

   You’re right about being stressed and looking for something to relieve it. We’ve never gone to an alternative lifestyle event but now I think we may. If I can talk the wife into it.

3. Sandi Says:
   November 13th, 2008 at 11:27 am

   I’m happy to have found your site. I’m a stripper in Madison Wisconsin and found your stories about dancers very entertaining. I graduated Univ of Wisc with a degree in education and decided I have plenty of time to teach but only a limited time to be a stripper, so I chose the latter for now. I’m the daughter of a grammar school principal and college professor. My parents know what I do and support me with love and understanding. If you don’t agree with the profession, don’t knock it until you try it. And then you’ll understand why so many of your daughters do it.
   Sandi

4. Katie Griese Says:
   November 13th, 2008 at 12:44 pm

   It sure is quiet in here. Where are you AF and Phucker and the Monkeys?

5. Mickeys Monkey Says:
   November 13th, 2008 at 3:07 pm

   I am here Katie. Do not know where AF and Phucker are. I am still laughing about his (Phuckers) comment from yesterday. Hope that you are having a good day. Mike is at the shop so its nice and quiet.

   Jeanette

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