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Archive for October, 2008

October 22, 2008

Wednesday, October 22nd, 2008

Because of a busy schedule of events and trying to finish a writing project for a Hollywood studio, your humble correspondent will be taking a few days off.

COMING SOON – TITTIE BARS AND BEER T-SHIRTS

Posted in Humor | 10 Comments »

WHO CHEATS MORE – MEN OR WOMEN?

Monday, October 20th, 2008

There’s a questionnaire being mailed to married couples asking you to take an online survey about INFIDELITY.

The CCS (Center for Cheating Spouses) is an independent research foundation studying the sexual habits of married couples. This information is then scrutinized, evaluated, and discussed by a group of 8 guys and 3 women who’ll be laughing their asses off at your very serious answers. Then it’ll be published in some pretentious journal that is only read by lonely dudes who play with themselves reading journal articles about sexual studies. Then this data will disappear until someone else wastes our tax dollars on the same study.

It’s a no-brainer! Women cheat more than men. Its uncomplicated statistics – 95% of married men would cheat if they had the opportunity too. But they don’t! So 5% of married men get all the pussy. On the other hand, all married women have the opportunity to cheat from the 5% of married men that have been blessed with the skills to get away with it.

Being part of that 95%, I think we need to spread the wealth.

That’s My Wife Giving Fred Head

Tags: cheating

Posted in Humor, Politics, Sex | 2 Comments »

Can It Get Any Scarier?

Friday, October 17th, 2008

Liberal Hollywood would like us to think that celebrities are more in touch with the average American.

Here are the facts –

• 72% of celebrities are high school dropouts.
• 89% of celebrities that went on to college dropped out.
• Only 7% went to a university.
• 77% of celebrities have been arrested for a felony.
• 65% spent time in rehabs for drugs or alcohol.
• 87% of celebrities vote Democratic.

The chutzpeh that these loudmouth boorish celebrities think that they are more in touch with Americans -

And here are a few of Obama’s celebrity supporters that will have an open invitation to hang out, stay overnight, and binge in the White House kitchen.

Oprah, Barbara Streisand, Michael Moore, Oliver Stone, Alec Baldwin, Paris Hilton, Madonna, Rosie O’Donnell, Ted Danson, Nicole Ritchie, Lindsey Lohan, Scarlett Johansson, Richard Dreyfus George Clooney, Will Smith, Chevy Chase, Larry David, Rob Reiner, Jessica Biel, Usher, Barry Manilow, Jerry Springer, Sally Field, 50 Cent, Jay Z, Leo DiCaprio, Steven Spielberg, Candace Bergen, Ivanka Trump, Babyface, Mat Daman, Whoopi Goldberg and Barbara Walters.

In a Senator Obama presidency, the White House will replace the Playboy Mansion as the place for celebrities to be seen.

I don’t know about you, but I’m scared that if a crisis call rings at 3AM – Chris Rock will answer it.

Posted in Hollywood, Humor, Politics | 7 Comments »

Day Off

Thursday, October 16th, 2008

Because of corporate shows yesterday and today, I have not had time to write my blog.

Have a great day!

Posted in Humor | 5 Comments »

Take My Money, Please!

Wednesday, October 15th, 2008

Future Bank Teller

As a sociologist and humorist, I enjoy new trends that slip into our consciousness without realizing it.

For the past year I’ve been going to my bank and unthinkingly became aware of something extraordinary. All the old and unattractive tellers are being replaced with young and sexy bank associates.

I never paid much attention to this clever marketing makeover until yesterday. As I was standing in line, waiting to make a deposit, I found myself excitedly waiting to see which hot babe would take my money.

This is a sociological observation I wanted to share with you.

Posted in Humor, Politics | 7 Comments »