Who is Stuart Jacobson?

Tittie Bars And Beer

Archive for April, 2008

Part ll

Wednesday, April 30th, 2008

I’m not talking about the awful cliché gangbangs you watch in trashy porn films as twenty chauvinistic guys with oversize penis’s stand in a circle around one slutty woman who’s lying in the middle receiving gargantuan pleasure as she is verbally abused while having intercourse. This gangbang was much classier. Here’s how it unfolded - but first a definition of what a gangbang is for those who are not sure what I’m talking about.

Wikipedia - A gang bang (or gangbang) is a situation in which a woman has sexual intercourse with multiple partners in turn. The term is now increasingly applied only to consensual sexual behavior in the sexual swinging community. It exists as a specialized form of group sex and sometimes figures in sexual fantasy.

I was hired (keep in mind I get paid to do this) to emcee a weekend-long swinger’s festival. Rhonda, a successful mortgage broker and her husband Roger, a medical doctor (not their real names) wanted to fulfill Rhonda’s fantasy of Rhonda being the star of a gangbang. Since I was already hired to be there to entertain the swingers, I suggested we make this ‘gangbang’ a theatrical success, like “Fiddler on the Roof” for swingers. They agreed and the preparation began - Tune in tomorrow for Part 3

Tags: gangbang

Posted in Sex, Sociology, Swingers | 1 Comment »

You’re the Gangbang My Bagel’s Been Missin’ (Part l)

Tuesday, April 29th, 2008

As a professional showbiz guy I get contacted to emcee and entertain at many different kinds of events. From charities to sport outings – fashion shows to corporate meetings – hot dog eating contests to trade shows – music concerts to motorcycle festivals! You name it and I’ve emceed it. But here’s one event that I never imagined I would add to my resume.

With that said - Some things I know I should not write about in view of the fact that a few of you may think inexcusably of me. But without being open and candid this blog will get dull. And besides, as long as my wife and mother know what I do for a living, I have no regrets for what I write - So that’s why I’m revealing I was hired to emcee a perfectly permissible and gracious gangbang – See you tomorrow for part 2.

Tags: gangbang

Posted in Sex, Sociology, Swingers | 2 Comments »

Tattoos and Beethoven -

Monday, April 28th, 2008

Here are some amazing facts I learned while chatting with a Japanese guy who was preparing my take-out sushi order last night.

Japan leads the world in condom use! He said they’re sold door to door, by women. He also told me that women with a Ph.D. are twice as likely to be interested in a one-night stand as those with only a Bachelor’s degree. He said that every day, 200 million couples around the world have sex, which is over 2,000 couples at any given moment. And last but not least, four percent of American women wear no undergarments. That’s one intelligent sushi maker.

My fascination for women with tattoos continues to intensify. I don’t know what it is but these babes are sexy and liberating – add a beautiful smile and my head starts playing Beethoven.

Tags: Beethoven

Posted in Humor, Music, Sociology | 4 Comments »

Senor Stuart Will Be -

Friday, April 25th, 2008

Yours truly will be entertaining the crowds at the Rock Bottom Brewery in Orland Park, IL May 1st thru May 3rd in celebration of one of my favorite holidays, Cinco de Mayo. The three night festival will include live bands, zesty Mexican cuisine, oodles of Cazadores tequila, and me - performing in the Cazadores VIP room Thursday, Friday, and Saturday from 9 to 11PM. I may be wearing a sombrero and mariachi suit so know one confuses me as the Jewish guy. That’s worth the price of admission! Hope to see you there!

Tags: Cazadores tequila, Cinco de Mayo, Rock Bottom Brewery

Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments »

Fear-Provoking Good Guys!

Thursday, April 24th, 2008

I know a lot of you are frightened of bikers and I indubitably understand why. They are covered with tattoos and body piercing! Their motorcycles are loud! Some have no regard for the rules of the road!  And they look like they’ll beat the shit out of you!

But when it comes to partying, nobody does it better than bikers.

Here is one minute and thirty eight seconds of what goes on at a biker’s party. The following footage is courtesy  of the Black River Rumble.

 

Tags: Bikers, Black River Rumble, tattoos

Posted in Bikers | 1 Comment »